FAKEbook

Twitter, Tawdry, and Just Plain Wrong.

May 31, 2018|Posted in: Uncategorized

A couple weeks ago, someone I had never met told me over the phone that I sounded–and I quote–”young and sexy.”

I had to laugh.

While I appreciate the compliment, these days it takes a whole lot of energy just to keep from being old and saggy … the “young-and-sexy” train left the station a few years back.

For the most part, I guess I’m OK with that. I wouldn’t say things get any better as you get older, but I certainly WORRY about things a lot less than I used to–at least regarding my image or what people think about me. Nowadays I tend to worry more about the over-powerful, under-contemplated technology that is running rampant through the world: Alexa and Siri are listening to everything we say (don’t let them fool you–they are), people put their keys in the microwave for safekeeping, and a pocket of cash won’t let you buy a drink on an airplane without a credit card. It’s too much.

Our focus is completely screwed. We have parts falling off of airplanes mid-flight … but we’re putting all our energy into self-driving cars–which, by the way, nobody really thinks is a good idea except the eggheads who stand to profit from it. I mean, I’m all for capitalism, but I’m also all for not getting run down in the street because Christine got a couple capacitors crossed.

And I’m REALLY against getting sucked out of an airplane at 10,000 feet because some prop boy was nursing a hangover when he was supposedly doing a preflight equipment check. Call me crazy.

Social media? Wow, talk about mixed signals. We have foreign countries that pretty obviously appear to have manipulated our day-to-day data input in a successful attempt to put some arrogant old “71-going-on-12″ dryfart into the most powerful job on the planet, but does that bother us? Well, it bothers ME, but I seem to be in the minority.

On the other hand, let a sitcom queen tweet out a tasteless joke at 3 in the morning? OMG. You’d think she’d ax-murdered E.T. during primetime. Can you say “tempest in a teacup”? I thought you could.

Look, I understand prejudice: I’m a gay man in America, which pretty much makes me a walking punchline. We all have SOMEthing someone can make fun of … and there will always be someone who is willing to do that. Deal with it. (And as an aside, props to Valerie Jarrett, who has handled the whole incident with incredible grace, and even managed to tastefully turn it into a teaching moment.)

But seriously: is the level we’ve sunk to? We shout “America first!” then turn a blind eye to communist countries buying our elections? We’re uncomfortable with professional athletes actually standing up (or kneeling, as the case may be) for a righteous cause, but let a professional insultess actually INSULT someone one, and the whole country has a cow and a kitten and a bunch of baby ducks.

My social life used to keep me up nights. Now social media does … for an entirely different reason.