Mar 30

March 30, 2014

4950172129_e45d661b60_z

Why I Don’t Want to Hear about Your Book

Although any published author will tell you that writing is a difficult profession that takes years and years to get going in your life, I still find no shortage of people in the day-to-day who are convinced they’re going to write the next novel-fad. I understand, you’re excited- but I don’t want to hear about your book. There’s certainly nothing wrong with this mentality (as I’m sure that same mentality is how some authors get going), but it always elicits…

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Aug 19

August 19, 2013

underwear

Product Review: Rounderwear’s Jam Beat Trunks

I’m not one to spend copious amounts of money on underwear. In fact, I typically go well over a year before I buy new ones. It’s just not my thing; I’d rather spend money on food! That being said, when I was contacted by Rounderwear offering me a free pair of the underwear of my choosing I figured “why not?” So here I am with a fresh pair of underwear, specifically the Jam Beat Trunks (in blue). This was the…

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Jul 15

July 15, 2013

Gay Men

In Defense of the “Boring”

Before I sat down to write this I was texting back and forth with a friend that ultimately led me (after he asked me to take a photo of my penis next to a Coke can for “mathematical analysis”) to see this Oatmeal cartoon. If you’d like to just enjoy the short and sweet of what my argument is going to be, then by all means go read the Oatmeal, and stop reading here. Okay, so you’re still here. Let…

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Jul 2

July 2, 2013

bike

My New Love

She’s a Bianchi Touring 12-speed. I picked her up, along with a U lock and protective wheel pins, at Refried Cycles (3804 17th Street, at Sanchez) for under $500. That’s a steal! And that’s not even the best part; I no longer have to rely on Muni for my transportation needs. If you have ever had to rely on Muni (and/or BART) for anything, then you know exactly what I mean. No more punk teenagers being assholes; no more dingbats…

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Apr 14

April 14, 2013

photo of sign

Why the Universe Is Frustrated With Me

I’ve slowly but surely weened myself off the terrible narcotic that is “online dating.” No more OkCupid (too scientific); no more Adam4Adam (too nasty); no more Grindr (too stale); no more Craigslist (too…um, yeah). It’s over! See ya! Later! Goodbye! (Although, I’m sure that I’ll relapse at some point. It happens. I’m only human.) Without being “plugged in,” so to speak, I’m left with (really) only one option: organic, face-to-face, human interaction. Oh no! Run for the hills! Isn’t there…

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Aug 1

August 1, 2012

marathon

“Seattlest Runs the San Francisco Marathon”

Imagine that you’re standing on Embarcadero Street at dawn, looking out across San Francisco Bay to see the Bay Bridge lit up in all its glory, hearing Sufjan Stevens’ “Chicago” in the background, and surrounded by near 25,000 other people who spent however many months training for what comes next: 26.2 miles of scenic, albeit physically demanding, running around and about San Francisco. Well, this fat-kid-at-heart didn’t just imagine it; I did it! This is my second marathon, after Vancouver,…

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Jul 14

July 14, 2012

Love Baloon

Love Like A Balloon

My Love is like a balloon. Wait. That’s not enough to describe it. My Love is like a balloon that has been, for whatever reason, let loose into the open sky. Let’s say that I hold my Love in my hand. It’s in the form of a balloon, and its connection to me is tenuous (it’s held to my person only by means of a ribbon). At first, it’s grounded; under control. When someone special comes along I slowly begin to lose…

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Jun 29

June 29, 2012

city hall rainbow

San Francisco City Hall: My First Time

Earlier this week I walked over to City Hall to pay my water bill. The building itself has much more grandeur than even the Washington State Capitol. However, I’m not interested in remarking on such things at this time. Instead, I’d like to point out the rather ominous feeling that overcame me when walking inside. Everyone knows the horrific event that happened within its walls: on November 27, 1978, Dan White snuck into the building through a basement window and…

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Jun 19

June 19, 2012

dreams

Deconstructing a Dream

Last night, as I slept, I was transported to an unspecified clothing store in Los Angeles. I was with the last guy that I had dated, Joey, and his friend, Jason. As I tried on clothes, I could sense the agitation that Joey was feeling as he waited for me to finish with whatever I was doing. No words were spoken by me, but he finally snapped. “Why are you even here? No one wants you here?” he shouted at…

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Jun 18

June 18, 2012

mustache

Writing Under the Influence

Mustaches are divine, to say the least. Well, that’s not entirely true. Let me back up and say that mustaches are magical. Yes, that’s better. They’re magical. They enchant those that see them; they disgust those that see them. There’s always been, and there always will be, two camps: those that find mustaches appealing, and those that find them appalling. It doesn’t make any sense. How can anyone be pushed away, instinctively, by a bit of hair on someone’s upper…

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